I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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