Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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