her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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