Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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