I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you win again, gameday.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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