Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
