She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you would pick up someone in the library
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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