Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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