I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
