He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
