Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
