why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
