I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
