New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize