you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
