This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
