what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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