i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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