My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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