I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
