The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
