I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
