Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
