my mouth tastes like poor choices
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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