Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
