i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
