I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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