:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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