I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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