Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
