my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize