..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
