Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I've blown a few things in my day
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
