Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
