just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
