Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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