Sponge bath it is.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
