just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
