So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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