He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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