I will die if light touches me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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