think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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