In the future we'll all be gay
if i died would you start the facebook group?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize