Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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