they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You can't special order awesome
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
