I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
my liver is dry heaving
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
