Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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