her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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