ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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