it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am midnight drunk by noon
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
