The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
