Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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