she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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