No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
