bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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