why didn't you poke me back
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
