This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was confusing and full of hummus
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
