I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
