I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
