"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
