Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
