Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
