Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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