So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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