sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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